Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Discrete rumblings

As anyone who has followed my blog for a while knows, I've been single for almost three years; an occasional date or two here and there, but nothing solid in all that time. Now, it hasn't been a question of not meeting people; it's been a question of meeting people who are worth the effort (and risk) involved in putting yourself out there. Sure, I've encountered countless cute chicks (they're pretty thick on the ground here in New York City), but cute does not equal interesting or exciting. It had gotten to the point where I'd begun to believe that my heart (or soul or whatever) had begun to atrophy and then I would end up staying alone simply because I just didn't care any more.

But now I find myself in the beginnings of being in Like.

After several days of silence (she was dealing with family stuff), Thea called me and invited me out for a quick bite and a movie. We noshed at Sidewalk Cafe and then caught a showing of "The Constant Gardener". Dinner was a blast, mostly taken up with a conversation about God, the similarities of organized religions, and the nature of humankind. You know, standard shallow meal conversation... ;-)

Did I mention she was mad smart as well as being hot?

The flick was excellent. I'd recommend it to anybody who likes well-paced, introspective films with a bit of intrigue and passion thrown in. There is a scene where Ralph Fiennes's character returns to the apartment he shared with his now-dead wife. He breaks down in the garden, able only to look in through the glass door at their former shared domain. The visual metaphor of being able to see your memories but being utterly separated from them was incredibly powerful. The movie is full of moments like this, as well as beautiful cinematography and a moving story. Go see it.

Fiennes and Rachel Weisz

Both Thea and I felt the same about the film, gasping at the same parts and occasionally turning to each other to whisper our thoughts (rude motherfuckers that we are). In all, an incredibly fun (if entirely unexpected) evening. So much for my plans to make dinner at home and call it an early night...

Such is the power of hope and desire.

Now comes the part that I'm really bad at: negotiating the pace of things and figuring out if she is indeed interested in "that way". I'd have thought that a call for an unplanned outing would be a great sign, but hey, I'm a fucking moron when it comes to this type of thing.

At least in the beginning.

Too bad there's no such thing as relationship representatives: "I'll have my people talk to your people"-type stuff. Well, so far I've been honest about my interest in her. I guess I just have to keep doing that and hope for the best. Hopefully it won't all end in tears (thanks, 4AD).

Yummy earfood:

Various - The Lo Fibre Companion
(from experimental electronic to ambient to altpop)

Various - The White Cliffs Of Dover
(WWII top forty, kids)

Various - TIP Records TIP CD1
(acid trance your brain out your nose)

The Final Cut - Consumed
(yes, they have the fear)

Swartalf - The Golden Section
(flirts with black metal, but stays ambient and operatic)


Anonymous b. anca said...

things that make you go

5:04 PM  
Blogger ocular spectra said...

you're a brave soul to write about this on your blog. i hope everything works out!

5:12 PM  

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