Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Eat to live

Anyone who has met me even in passing will tell you that I love food. I love to cook. I love to eat. I derive a deep-seated satisfaction from preparing a sumptuous meal or simply enjoying an evening out at a fine restaurant. But little did I know that my culinary proclivities might one day save my life...

Mitchell Rupe, who killed two people in 1981, died today at the Washington State Penitentiary. Rupe had been sentenced to death not once, but twice. However, higher courts overturned each of the sentences.

The reason?

Rupe weighed 400 pounds and he argued that he was too heavy to hang due to risk of...

(duhn duhn duhn!) decapitation.

Which would be cruel and unusual punishment.

Who would have ever guessed that one way to get around swingin' would be gluttony? Out of appeals? Start chowin' down. Then again, these days most states rely on lethal injection to murder their death row inmates, so I guess that loophole (or noose?) has been closed...

"I fat the law."

Death row diet plan:

Rapeman - Two Nuns And A Pack Mule
(Albini proves he's still pissed after Big Black)

Opeth - Blackwater Park
(gotta love 10 minute metal songs)

Radiohead - OK Computer
(I want that key to the basement)

Blue Sky Research - MP3 Compilation
(glitchy heroin headnod)

DJ Krush - Meiso
(more headnodiness)


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