Straight to hell

For the most part, I walk really fast. I guess I'm just the type of person who likes to get where they're going. After all, while "slow" does mean "unhurried", it is also a synonym for "retarded", as in "Don't mind George; he's just a little slow." So suffice it to say that I'm one of those annoying people who are always speeding by you on the escalator. By the way, please stand to the right. There are folks with places to go coming up fast on your left.

This blow by technique applies especially to people handing out leaflets, flyers, copies of AM New York, and other miscellaneous crud; I usually fly right by them. There's one particular gentleman who lurks outside of the Pavonia/Newport PATH station a couple mornings a week that I particularly enjoy ignoring. He is usually spouting about Jesus Christ and our impending damnation when the blur that is me rockets past him. However, I was running very early this morning and had therefore decided to travel at slightly less than the speed of sound. As I decelerated out of the station, there he was: one of Jersey City’s resident Jesus freaks.

I simply couldn’t resist.

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?" he bellowed in my face as I strolled by. BTW, don’t you think these folks need some new material? Anyway, I turned and said, "No, but God and I are fine. Thank you for asking."

He was not amused.

But I sure was. The guy locked step with me and proceeded to quote the bible at me for about a block. I retorted with some of my beliefs and continued to be unflappable. It was kinda fun. We kept debating and then he gave me one last good stare down and told me I was going to burn in hell. Then he just gave up and walked away.

Now, I have no problem with people that practice religion. My good friend Jason had a revelatory experience in his teens and is now a devout Christian. However, he’s never tried to shove his beliefs down my throat (which I appreciate) and I believe that his faith has made him a better person and his life more full of joy than if he hadn’t found God.

My sister is another excellent example. Her religion has brought to her a sense of belonging and structure that she has always craved. If she hadn’t found her faith, her life would be much more difficult. In fact, it’s through my encounters with her experience that I’ve come to temper my attitudes. I used to be vehemently opposed to organized religion and considered anyone who practiced to be a fool and a sheep. My sister’s experience, however, has helped me to re-examine that attitude and I’ve come to realize how foolish it is. And I thank her for that.

My point, however, is that folks like the gentleman outside the station are another matter entirely. They just beg to be messed with.

If you want to discuss faith and religion with me, fine. But do it in a calm, rational manner. Don’t scream it in my face and damn me to hell. It’s not a very convincing argument and it’s just annoying.



And ultimately, how can anyone truly prove their argument when it comes to this stuff? The only way to really find out if there is a heaven and a hell is to die. And that throws a real wrench into your ability to debate, don’t you think?

Oh yeah, and for the record, Satanism is just as unconvincing.

However, Lucifer did call and made these requests:

The Future Sound Of London - Lifeforms
(what the inside of water sounds like)

Helmet - Strap It On
(Page and company rip out the raw)

Godflesh - Love And Hate In Dub
(putting the H-E-A-V-Y in heavy)

Pocka - Devoured By A Shark
(this man never runs out of ideas)

Coldplay - A Rush Of Blood To The Head
(again, great tunes, bad lyrics)