Monday, October 24, 2005

Droppin' the Doom

It's always been a tradition of mine to go to the movies on Sunday mornings once the weather starts getting crappy. Well, New York has plunged headlong into crappy weather mode, so I took in Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's latest cinematic offering, Doom.

It was pretty fun.

Ignoring the fact that this movie is just a rehash of other "scientists mess with forces they shouldn't and pay the price" movies, it was very entertaining. Sure, it's been done before (Resident Evil springs immediately to mind), but it certainly held my interest. I was especially pleased that no CGI was used. This was a good old fashioned "hide the monsters in shadow" horror movie, only with more machine guns and, of course, the BFG. Those familiar with the video game will know that this stands for Big Fucking Gun, but is cutely renamed the Bio Force Gun in the film. The Rock's character, of course, uses the proper nomenclature.

The Rock loves his Big Fucking Gun.

Strangely enough, the plot, while simple, was not completely predictable. While I wouldn't call the ending a twist, it does not go exactly where you expect it to and this is fairly refreshing.

So if you want to relax your brain for about 100 minutes and don't mind an occasional scare (BTW, this won't happen if you are even remotely a horror movie veteran; no new scares here), toddle on down to your local theater and lay down your dollars for Doom. It's a fun ride.

One downside of my outing was, of course, the crowd. I saw the film at the megaplex around the corner from me, affectionately referred to as "The Big Ugly" by my friends and me. This theater attracts a lot of folks who... shall we say... lack certain social graces. Lots of talking to the screen ("Don't go in there!", "Damn, that thing's fast as a muthafucka!"), copious crinkling of candy wrappers (as if these people weren't fat enough already), and small children.

I find that last thing particularly bothersome.

There was one couple who had a really young kid with them. This is the type of movie that parents have no business bringing a child to. There’s lots of violence, noise, and scary stuff. The kid cried out a couple of times and was huddling against his dad for most of the flick.

I've got one word for you, folks: Babysitter.

If you can't afford one, tough; should have thought about that before you had a kid.

Today's motion picture soundtrack includes selections from:

Pole - 1
(electronic minimalism avec crackles and static)

10 Ft. Ganja Plant - Midnight Landing
(s'all aboot da erb, mon)

Analog Pussy - Trance N Roll
(kick snare kick snare kick snare; aw yeah)

Bowery Electric - Lushlife
(not to be confused with John Coltrane, though he'd prolly like it)

Nasum - Human 2.0
(think of it as a meat tenderizer for your brain)


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