Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Man, people are stupid

I've lived in America all my life. Technically, I was born in Japan (thanks, Air Force Dad), but we were only there for 2 years and it's not like there are a lot of memories from that time. I guess my brain was too busy soaking up everything it could about everything around me. Point being, my entire cognitive life (barring the occasional vacation) has been spent in these United States. But I’ve got a question.

Are all the citizens of the world as stupid as Americans?

I ask this because of the several astounding news items I’ve been coming across in the past couple of days.

1) Kids playing “the choking game”, wherein they hang, throttle, or whatever themselves until they briefly pass out. What are you, retarded? If not, keep it up and you will be. Or you’ll be dead. This has already happened to a couple of little Einsteins. Not to be heartless, but Jesus, how stupid do you have to be to hang yourself on purpose (yeah, that means you too, Hutchence)? Doesn’t anybody just do whippets anymore (which is almost as stupid, BTW)?

2) Fans throwing themselves from the upper deck in Yankee Stadium so they can land in the nets behind the plate. Come on, folks. I know the Yanks are four and a half back from the Sux, but that’s no reason to throw caution to the wind so you can get yourself mocked on SportsCenter.

3) People believing anything George Bush has to say. “Iraq has weapons of mass destruction.” “We never said Iraq had weapons of mass destruction.” “I will fight for the environment.” “Here’s my new energy bill.” “I’m a Yale educated scholar.” “I talk real good.” It’s gotten to the point where I can almost ignore him. It’s that or I throw up my hands in frustration and then throw myself from the upper deck in Yankee Stadium. Then again, there was a poll on August 5th that revealed that 50% of Americans think Dumbya isn’t honest. Duh.

4) People still approving of how Dumbya is handling the festivities in Iraq. The August 5th poll said this accounts for only about 38% of the country, but come on folks. How many dead people do you need to hear about before you realize that Big G and company are fuckin' up? The poll results were kind weird, though, for it turns out that "Midwesterners and young women and men with a high school education or less were most likely to disapprove of Bush on his handling of Iraq". Now normally this is not a batch of people I’d give the highest marks to in the brains department (so says the Ivy League educated northeastern intellectual elitist), but they obviously figured out the simple truth of things long before the majority of Americans. Then again, it’s mostly folks with little education who are getting wasted, no? Money for college? How about a free funeral instead?

I’m sure there are lots of other examples of homegrown American stupidity, but these are the ones that are tickling my brain the most at present. But the fact is I’m almost positive that the rest of the human race is a dumb as we Americans. Part of me does hold out a small hope that on some tiny island in the South Pacific there’s a culture where people have heads like those really smart dudes in the pilot for Star Trek (with the brains to match).

But I ain’t holding my breath.

Talosians would beam these into your brain and kill you:

Various - DJ Kicks: C.J. Bolland
(CJB in da club!)

Austere - Dark/Untitled v2
(the guys are still trying to figure out which version to release; I like this one)

Various - Body Rapture
(some old ass industrial shit from Zoth Ommog)

Various - Chess Blues Classics 1957-1967
(a mere sampling from the gorgeous 4 disc set; Wolf, Williamson, Waters, and more)

Various - DJ C’s Mix For Sharon
(don’t know who this Sharon chick is, but C threw it down for ya)

>2 days offa da sauce


Post a Comment

<< Home