Thursday, May 24, 2007

Happy music for happy people

I confuse a lot of people.

It's true.

A glance at my CD collection routinely results in more than a few odd looks. Bing Crosby sits next to Bitshifter (I alphabetize based on the way the name appears on the sleeve; e.g. Frank Sinatra appears under "F", not "S", and the "T" section of my collection is freakin' huge). Annie Lennox can be found next to Anti Sound System. Aretha Franklin is placed next to Armageddon Dildos (one of my favorite juxtapositions)...

My point is this: my musical tastes are seriously fucked up.

And it's getting joyfully worse. The story goes like this:

It's my sincere hope that you checked out the Death Metal Fresh Prince. One of the funniest things I've seen in quite awhile. The imagery is hilarious, but for most people, that's as far as they'd go with it.

Me? I tracked down the song and bought the damned album.

The tune used in the video is the title track from Amputated's Gargling With Infected Semen. Pleasantly sub-titled "Pussy Plundering Porno-Grind", this album is currently one of my favorites. Who could resist the allure of tracks like "Anally Disemboweled (Weapons Of Ass Destruction)", "Love 'Em And Cleave 'Em" or the ever popular "Menstrual Cunt Fart"?

This shit is hilarious and more than a bit tongue-in-check. After all, these guys posted the Will Smith thing on their MySpace page, so they've gotta have a sense of humor. But the music is still aggressive as all get out. Death grunts in full effect, roaring guitars and great drumming. Some blast beats here but mostly a thunderous groove. This stuff swings, as odd as that sounds; shades of Entombed's colossal Wolverine Blues. The lyrics aren't listed on the sleeve, but in all honesty I don't think there are any. I believe it's just this crazy motherfucker growling into the mic.

Don't believe me? Check out "M.D.S.P.T.".

Doesn't he have a lovely singing voice?

How can you listen to this stuff without wanting to punch somebody in the face while laughing maniacally? Just kidding. However, I dare say A LOT of people would be offended by this music as well as the album art: mucho porno here as well as some pretty sick medical photos (typical of goregrind albums).

I say to hell with them.

Anyone who can't listen to this stuff without either enjoying it (like me) or just shaking their heads and chuckling (like Susan) needs to get the pole out of their butt. Go listen to Elton John, Yanni, or some other smarmy, soulless crap. Life is too short not to go crazy now and again. Punch a higher floor.

"There are two kinds [of music]: good and bad." - Louis Armstrong

Dr. Everythingwillbealright recommends:

Amputated - Gargling With Infected Semen
(my presidential campaign music)

Still Stupid - Still Stupid
(DIY punk lovingly transferred from cassette)

Cypress Hill - Cypress Hill
(putting my hand on the pump)

The Bug - Pressure
(this KMart does not have a blue light special)

Tom Wait - Bad News Out Of A Pretty Mouth
(this is a man that should do some death metal)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

but yanni is god!

2:09 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Yes, but he is the cruel, uncaring God of Banality.

4:16 PM  

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