Plumbing the depths

I've gotta say that life kind of sucks right now. I've been really bummed out the last couple of days. I think it has a lot to do with the weather (it gets cold and dark really quickly around here lately) coupled with a general feeling of loneliness. I try not to bitch and complain too much about stuff, but it's been a rough time of late. I actually went to bed at 7:30 last night simply because it was better than staying awake.

That's kinda spooky.

I'm hoping things will be looking up soon. I'm hanging out with Rebecca tonight, which should be fun. I haven't seen her in quite awhile and perhaps she'll let me cry on her shoulder, as it were. I'm also anxious to see her new place (she and her boyfriend moved in together about a week ago) and catch up in general.

But I still I feel like I'm losing touch with people.

Again, this time of year is always tough for me. I fucking hate the fall. Everything is dying, the sun spends most of its time disappearing, and winter looms large on the horizon. Add to that the fact that November is my second least favorite month (February rules that particular spot) and you've got a recipe for suck.

Thea has also semi-disappeared. Normally when I call someone and leave them a message, I expect a call back or an email with a day or two. Not so in this case. She disappears for days at a time. However, just as I convince myself she's blowing me off, she pops up again. At this point, I’ve not seen or spoken with her in almost two weeks and only gotten two brief emails.

I do not understand this girl sometimes.

Of course this makes it sound as if there was a lot more going on between us than there really was. In truth, we've only hung out a couple of times and that's it. Still a friend thing, I guess; which is, of course, demoralizing. I rarely ask anybody out. This is only the second time in almost three years and this is the second time I've apparently come up short. It's frustrating and, as I said, demoralizing.

Man, do I sound like a whiny bitch.

Anyway, maybe I should just flee the country and go somewhere warm for awhile.

Maps of warmer climes:

Underworld - A Hundred Days Off
(premium dancefloor fodder)

Underworld - Second Toughest In The Infants
(don't go dark on me now)

Death In Vegas - Dead Elvis
(gritty funky)

Dead Kennedys - Frankenchrist
(Jello is still a god of punk)

Various - Immortalised
(3 disc retrospective from the metalmongers at Earache)