Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Not my daddy

Seems one of our enlightened elected officials has introduced legislation that will ban the use of electronic devices while crossing the street. Yes, gone are the days when you were expected to "look both ways". Now, should you survive, you will be handed a $100 fine. Apparently New York State Senator Carl Kruger thinks we're too clueless to fend for ourselves anymore. He's upset that three pedestrians in his district have been hit and killed since September, each of them plugged in at the time.

"Government has an obligation to protect its citizenry," Kruger told CNN. "This electronic gadgetry is reaching the point where it's becoming not only endemic but it's creating an atmosphere where we have a major public safety crisis at hand."

Five words for you, Carl: From My Cold, Dead Hands.

Don't you touch my Discman, boy! The only reason I haven't committed mass murder by now is because of this helpful little gadget. Sure, maybe it's antisocial, but in an environment like New York City, it's a must-have.

As for those folks who don't pay attention to what's going on around them?

How is it any different that what people act like most of the time? Most humans are innately oblivious anyway. Perhaps we should encourage more people to plug in and tune out. Reduce the surplus population through the combined powers of music and fast moving traffic.

Treat me like an adult. I take responsibility for my actions as soon as I step out into the world. I don't need the government to make sure I don't hurt myself. That's my job.

"Gonna run you down, bitches!"


When I get hit by the bus, I will be listening to:

Slayer - Reign In Blood
(which will cause the bus to bounce right off me)

Wynton Marsalis - The Midnight Blues
(slinky, smoky sexy)

Various - Spintrax 19
(pounding trance and progressive house)

Marilyn Manson - Mechanical Animals
(because you too can steal from David Bowie and Pink Floyd)

Armin Van Buuren - Shivers
(a damn near perfect collection)

1 Comments:

Anonymous USpace said...

This man has surely lost his mind, it’s time for him to retire on a BIG FAT pension.

absurd thought -
God of the Universe says
retire senile senators
.

8:25 PM  

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