Or so I thought...

Turns out that Merrill isn't going to just hire me. I interviewed with three people just this morning. I'm a bit apprehensive because I think I may have flubbed the technical. It's been quite some time since I've used Excel in terms of writing formulas, so I was fairly rusty and I think it showed. I was also pretty beat by the time I reached the third interviewer, so I hope I didn't blow that too. I guess we'll see. It would suck if it didn't come through. Then again, I've still got a fair amount of time here at my present job. They just extended me through June 12th.

Life is wacky sometimes.

Using your head as a soccer ball:

Immortal - Sons Of North Darkness
(warriors from the grim lands)

Jesu - Jesu
(JKFlesh marches on)

DJ? Acucrack - Killing Mobius
(what did he ever do to them?)

Cypress Hill - Black Sunday
(stoned to the bone)

Various - Terry's Cafe 8
(housey housey housey)

Toastie

I certainly don't visit my father down in Florida as often as I should. However, I was down there over the weekend and I have to say, it was quite a blessing; an escape from the craziness up here. Lots of beach time (as evidenced by my lobster-like skin sheen), lots of good food, lots of good wine. I had a wonderful time and was somewhat reluctant to catch that big ol' jet airliner and come back. This being said, it does appear that Skip has stabilized to a certain degree and appears to be a bit more comfortable than before, so that was good news to receive upon my return.

On the job front, Merrill wants to hire right now. They say they're willing to wait until things wrap up here, but how long that is going to be remains to be seen. At present, it looks like June 1st, but that may slip a bit further, depending on how quickly they can get my replacement in and how long it takes me to train the new employee up. I'm meeting with the Merrill folks tomorrow, so hopefully I can give them a bit more information to work with.

So, all said, I'm feeling a good deal less stressed about things in general, which is a hell of a nice change from what's been miserable business as usual.

Casbah-rockin' beats:

Junkie XL - Radio JXL: A Broadcast From the Computer Hell Cabin
(two tasty techno turners)

Various - DJ Abstract 8: Black Eye Mix
(thunderous)

Nile - Annihilation Of The Wicked
(primal punishment from ancient Egypt)

King Kooba - Indian Summer
(downtempo meets da funk)

Charlie Parker - Bird At St. Nick's
(brilliant musicianship; too bad about the lame sound quality)

Disintegration

I spent the weekend in Philadelphia, helping my Mom out. She's having lots of trouble moving around, given her broken arm and general decrepitude. Unfortunately, my stepfather's health continues to fade away. He's in a nursing home now and will hopefully be moved to a hospice some time this week. However, I doubt he'll last more than a few more days.

It was really horrible to see him. He shakes like a leaf and every breath he takes sounds like it's filtered through 10 gallons of water. There is a deep rattle in his chest and it's awful to see him struggle each time he inhales. He can barely talk and simply stares out the window or at the ceiling most of the time.

I think he really wants to go, sooner than later.

Unfortunately, many of his extended family are devoutly religious and have been plying him with sermon upon sermon about the healing power of Jesus. Thing is, Skip is not a religious man and these haranguings do more to tire him out than they do to make him feel better. Anyone in there right mind can't look at this man and not realize that he's dying and that there's nothing to be done except try and make him comfortable. Better to let him alone and make his own peace with himself and the divine, which I believe he's done to a great extent already anyway.

It sounds and feels awful to say that I wish he were dead, but that's how I feel. His suffering is very great and I think he finds his helplessness embarrassing and demeaning. Hopefully none of this will last much longer. If his appearance yesterday is any indication, I don't think it will.

Deathbird stories:

Various - Dirty Loop Volumes 1-3
(bizarro-world alt-hiphop)

Frank Sinatra With The Red Norvo Quintet - Live In Australia, 1959
(down under with the Chairman)

Various - DJ Abstract 1: The Dark Lounge Mix
(when the mellow didst begin)

Various - DJ Abstract 6: Nineties Junkie Mix
(techno heaven)

Ministry - The Land Of Rape And Honey
(because sometimes, it's just easier to hurt people)

Kick him to the curb

Several retired generals have been calling for our beloved Defense Secretary to step down. Retired Maj. Gen. John Batiste had this to say about Rummy:

"We went to war with a flawed plan that didn't account for the hard work to build the peace after we took down the regime. We also served under a secretary of defense who didn't understand leadership, who was abusive, who was arrogant, who didn't build a strong team."

Well said, Johnny. Too bad you didn't speak up while you were over there.

I suspect that this anti-Rumsfeld movement will all come to naught. Bush is too pigheaded and stupid to listen to anybody except those who've already brainwashed him. Fact is Rummy's got his ear, so I doubt Dumbya is going to give Donald his walking papers.

It's too bad we can't send the whole bunch of 'em packing.

"So I'm not a nice guy. Who gives a fuck?"


Deployed audio strike force:

Godflesh - Love And Hate In Dub
(add some thump to your trunk)

Nasum - Live Trax
(bootleg quality sound, but, hey, it's grindcore)

Various - Terry's Cafe 8
(four on the floor forever more)

Nina Simone - Collection 1
(stunning diversity)

Eutythmics - 1984
(you do not exist)

World coming down

I'd be the first to say that 2005 was not a great year. Almost everyone I know had something horrible happen to them or their family, be it a death (or deaths), bad accident, whatever. It was my sincere hope that 2006 would be a vast improvement. I was filled with a real sense of hope and renewal on New Year's Day, as stupid as that sounds (given that our system of dates is, after all, arbitrary).

Seems my hope was truly misplaced.

The last few weeks have been amongst the most demoralizing I've had in quite some time. We discovered that my stepfather's cancer is much more aggressive than we were lead to believe. The doctors are saying he won't survive for more than a few more weeks. My mother then took a spill down the steps, breaking her arm and a couple of ribs, as well as dislocating her elbow. It's bad enough that she is going to need surgery and is going to be in physical therapy for at least 6 months.

My sister and I had decided that we needed to get Mom and Skip out of the house and into some sort of assisted living situation. However, with Skip's impending death, it's more become a good deal more complicated.

It seems every time I feel I've taken a step forward in things, I either end up where I started or even further back.

It's frustrating and depressing.

I don't know what to do; I feel powerless and that sucks. My mind tells me I just have to sit back and let things unfold as they have to. However, my heart aches every time I think about it.

In hopes of knocking me out:

Various - Terry's Cafe 8
(gliding to the house rhythms)

Dead Kennedys - Plastic Surgery Disasters & In God We Trust, Inc.
(get the bellow from Jello)

Nile - Annihilation Of The Wicked
(would that we could)

Daft Punk - Homework
(them wacky Frechies)

Hardfloor - TB Resuscitation
(them wacky Germans)

Lifestyles of the rich and pampered

According to a study conducted by the New York Times, the tax cuts enacted by the Bush administration have made the rich richer.

Gee, isn't that a surprise?

If you were fortunate to make more than $26 million last year, like me and my friends (yeah, right), you paid about the same percentage in taxes as folks who were fortunate enough to make between $200K-$500K. Yup, you make one hundred times as much as these people and pay the same percentage in taxes. And guess what? That saved you about $1 million in taxes.

The Times study also showed that more than 70% of the tax savings on investment income went to the top 2% percent of investors.

Let's hear it for making the super rich super richer! Shall we just call them ultra rich? Uber rich?

"This is an impressive crowd - the haves and the have mores. Some people call you the elite - I call you my base." - GWB


Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies; ask me questions, I play music:

Various - Looking Back Ain't No Way Forward
(ambiglitch)

The Misfits - Walk Among Us
(back when Danzig still had a neck)

Resistance D - Inexhaustibility
(epic trance)

Various - Spintrax 13)
(Ten And Tracer and Marshall Watson get down get down)

Various - Lisa And Tom's Wedding Mix
(mix I threw together for my sister's nuptials in May)

Inspiration

So instead of sitting around on my butt and watching TV all weekend, I elected to spend it sitting around on my butt and working on music. I was partially inspired by the idea of attending the Orb concert on Saturday, but that ended up getting canceled, as the club it was to be held at was closed down by the cops for drug violations.

Thanks to all you stupid, dopehead clubkids.

Anyway, I had a tasty dinner with Bianca and Yaniv instead, so that was nice.

But back to the music.

I'd had a couple of Breaks The Blank Day tracks kicking around, so I decided to finish them. Having done so, I came up with a nice track order and created a new EP, "Moons Decay And Suns Decline".



You can check it out and download the tracks and artwork on my site. It's the usual Breaks The Blank Day kind of stuff: ambient, glitchy, abstract and completely improvised. I even threw together a dub remix of one of the tracks under the guise of my Abstract Audio Systems persona.

Sweet.

Falling out of orbit to:

Breaks The Blank Day - Moons Decay And Suns Decline
(spaced out and fuzzy)

Marshall Watson - 100 Smooth Trobones
(fuzzy and spaced out)

Litmus0001 - Bliss
(quite the apt title)

Various - Have A Relapse
(head shred)

Rob Zombie - Past, Present & Future
(cause I needs me a living dead girl)